


you look into the void (but someone pulls you back and holds you close)

by Garecc, Gunpowderdtim (Garecc)



Series: Ready, Aim, Fire [27]
Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Brian dies but in a different way, Character Death, Death, Death to the Mechanisms Spoilers, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Not A Fix-It, Toy soldier, raphaella la cognizi - Freeform, references to Out, references to prior character death, they are in additional because they HARDLY appear not worth tagging them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26582386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Garecc/pseuds/Garecc, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Garecc/pseuds/Gunpowderdtim
Summary: Brian's death is very sad. An au where instead of Brian throwing himself into the void to die, Jonny stops him.In which Brian dies loved, and surrounded by his family. In which Brian gets a somewhat happy, or at least calm, ending.
Relationships: Drumbot Brian & Jonny d'Ville
Series: Ready, Aim, Fire [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799860
Comments: 14
Kudos: 81





	you look into the void (but someone pulls you back and holds you close)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [you look into the void (and know no one is coming)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25908226) by [Garecc](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Garecc/pseuds/Garecc), [Gunpowderdtim (Garecc)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Garecc/pseuds/Gunpowderdtim). 



> Title is a reference to my Brian fic where Brian dies the first time. Titled _you look into the void (and know no one is coming)_

They are on Aurora, when Brian realizes he's dying.

Realizes he can feel it. 

His heart skipped a beat.

He was dying. 

He stands up, slowly, not really expecting his legs to hold him.

But they do.

Brian stands there, hand on Auroras too-quiet walls as he decides on his actions.

It's only fitting he goes as he came, after all.

He'll let the void claim him one last time.

The walk to the airlock is slow, arduous. Every beat his heart skips sends his systems screaming. Error after frantic error forcing him to pause and wait until his body syncs up again.

It hurts far more than he expected it too. The buffering and crashing and errors after every failed attempt for his heart to beat forcing him to lean against the wall, and after three failures in a row to the ground. Clutching at his chest, knowing he would be crying at the pain if he had tear ducts.

(He thinks of Tim for half a moment, and that just makes his heart hurt more.)

Finally, he stands in front of the airlock. Looking out into the stars, he doesn't hesitate as he steps forward, intending to set a timer for ejection and step in.

His fingers only ghost over the touchpad when Jonny skids into the airlock bay with a wild expression Brian could only label as frantic. Almost panicked.

"Brian." He says, shoulders heaving, eyes wide and almost manic. "What the _fuck_ are you doing."

"I'm dying Jonny." He says plainly. Trying to sound as calm as he can. But his voicebox glitches, wobbles into sparky static that betrayed his calm demeanor. 

"You- no _._ " Jonny steps forward, shoving himself between Brian and the airlock. Making himself a firm barrier Brian would have to push past. “No.”

"Jonny." 

" _No._ If you're fucking dying you're _not_ throwing yourself out the airlock."

"Jonny." Brian starts. “It's poetic, it's a fitting death-”

“ _Shut the fuck up._ ” Jonny hisses, raising his arms out, blocking the exit further. “Shut up. Fuck you.”

“Jonny, please let me go.”

“No!” He snapped, baring his teeth. 

“Jonny. It's my choice. Not yours. Please.”

"Not _again_.” His voice cracks with emotion, with a note of fear that makes Brian freeze in place. “I am- _I'm not losing another fucking person I love to the goddamn airlock._ You're coming with me. We're going to go to the rec room. And- And we’ll get Raph. And TS. And it’ll be a nice fucking death. Come on.”

“Jonny it's okay.”

“ _No, it's not!_ You're fucking _dying_.” He was fidgeting with his gun, looking ever more distressed by the second. 

He looked like he was going to cry. Brian _really_ didn't want his last memory to be making Jonny cry.

“Jonny.”

“Look I- Look. I already-” He bites at his hand, sinking his teeth into his fingers either as a fear response or to ground himself with the pain. He breathes for a moment, forcing himself to gather his wits. He looks scared. Brian couldn't fathom why. “It's just- Nastya. She went out this one okay?”

Oh. 

_Oh._

Jonny _never_ talked about when Nastya left. 

Never.

“I- I just. She stood here an' told me she was leaving and never coming back. And I just-" He trails off shakily. Taking a long breath. Forcing himself to calm. "I just one happy death out of the lot of us. Okay? You're the best of us- The nicest. I don't know. You deserve it. Come on.” Jonny looks desperate. Terrified.

Brian knew if he pressed Jonny would let him go, but well, he didn't have the heart to do that. 

Brian would have sighed if he had had lungs, but he didn't so he just slowly nodded. Stepping away from the airlock.

Jonny wrapped an arm around him, looking visibly calmer, and shepherded him away from his self-induced fate.

* * *

They run into TS while Jonny is walking him to where, presumably, he’ll die. “Can you go get Raph?” Jonny asks it.

“Of Course! Might I Ask Why, Old Chap?”

“I’m dying.” Brian says. Feeling rather proud of the fact his voicebox didn't shutter or give _any_ static. Especially given he nearly fell over several steps ago. Would have if Jonny wasn't holding him up.

“Oh!” TS hands still, and it begins to look concerned. “I’ll Get Her Right Away!” 

“We’ll be in the main rec room,” Jonny says, nodding.

Brian stumbles again but doesn't pitch to either side. The pistons in his knees are freezing. It takes a minute for Brian to fight through the errors and take another step.

But he manages.

He wouldn’t have managed without Jonny helping him balance. Without Jonny making up for how unsteady he is. He wouldn't have made it without Jonny.

He makes it to the rec room, and manages to sit down.

Everything is buffering, fans wheezing and motors coughing. Everything was slowing down. Failing.

(He wonders if Ivy felt like she before she died.)

(They hadn't discovered her death until 20 years after, when they had swung around to visit and there was nothing but a burnt husk of a building.)

(Once again, his heart somehow hurts even more.)

Jonny guides him into a laying position, Brian’s head resting in his lap. 

Raph and the Toy Solider rushed in less than ten minutes later. 

They settle next to Jonny, and Brian manages a shaky smile. Welcoming them to his own funeral.

Raph managed something that was almost a smile, trying to be comforting, but she looked like she might cry. She took his hand that Jonny wasn't holding and squeezed it once, before pulling back. 

He would have told her it's ok if he didn't think all he would manage would be wheezing off key static.

TS looked like if it was going to start sobbing. 

(It has sobbed for hours when Marius died. While Tim stood there frozen.)

(Tim hadn't spoken for hours, and when he did it was quiet. Almost determined in a way.)

(He should have realized Tim was planning to die.)

(They should have realized what he was planning.)

It was nice, having them here.

It was nice not being alone.

And Brian dies.

Brian dies resting his head in Jonny's lap, knowing these are his final moments. 

Feeling his gears slow and whirr to a steady, final stop.

His limbs go first, pistons freezing and nerve cables severing. Delicately crafted hands that will never again play falling still.

He can feel the machines that act as his organs slowing. Before clicking off one by one.

He feels his gears stop. The motors turning off.

(It's audible. Jonny can hear the whirring stop for the first time in millennia. It's uncannily quiet. He didn't even realize that he associated that sound with Brian until it stopped. Until it fell silent.)

Jonny cards his fingers through Brian’s hair. It's comforting, knowing that this will be one of the last things he'll know.

Fans whirr to a stop, and where processors would immediately start to fry and burn normally, they don't. Shutting off uniformly in lines as the power cuts.

It isn't painful.

It isn't scary.

It's final. It's quick. It's the end.

His consciousness wanes as the final processor clicks off. 

He was so tired. He’d been alive for so, so long.

Head resting in Jonny’s lap, his eyes click shut.

He feels safe.

He feels loved.

There is nowhere else in the universe he’d rather be as he died.

He’s surrounded by people that care about him, that love him. 

There are no stars leering at him.

There is no ravenous void to claim him. 

He's warm. 

Jonny's shaking hand holding his.

The quiet hum of Aurora's engine guided him into a deathly sleep.

His heart is still beats for several moments after his body clicks off. But it quickly slows, the steady beat that had run for millennia tapering off.

And then it beats its final thump, and finally stops.

And Drumbot Brian finally dies.

  
  
  


_Our bodies are still and our blood is cold_

_The books are closed and our stories told_

_No happy ever after for a tale so old_

_Laid in blood when the story is done_

**Author's Note:**

> I can't stop writing brian angst
> 
> The ending is full of firm parallels between Brian's first death and second
> 
> He was so tired. He’d been out here for so long, he’d been alone for so long. 
> 
> He rested his head in his arms, his eyes slipping shut. 
> 
> No one was coming for him.
> 
> No one in the universe cared for him.
> 
> No one in the universe loved him.
> 
> The void’s chill took him into a deathly sleep as he stopped shivering, as his body froze, as his heart slowed but didn't stop. 
> 
> Vs
> 
> He was so tired. He’d been alive for so, so long.
> 
> Head resting in Jonny’s lap, his eyes click shut.
> 
> He feels safe.
> 
> He feels loved.
> 
> There is nowhere else in the universe he’d rather be as he died.
> 
> He’s surrounded by people that care about him, that love him. 
> 
> There are no stars leering at him.
> 
> There is no ravenous void to claim him. 
> 
> He's warm. 
> 
> Jonny's shaking hand holding his.
> 
> The quiet hum of Aurora's engine guided him into a deathly sleep.
> 
> His heart is still beat for several moments after his body clicks off. But it quickly slows, the steady beat that had run for millennia tapering off.
> 
> And then it beats its final thump, and finally stops.
> 
> And Drumbot Brian finally dies.


End file.
